Airport Security

Click here for a list of Permitted and Prohibited items.

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Why does everyone make such a big deal about me keeping an eye on my luggage?

Many bags are similar and someone else could accidentally pick up your bag thinking it is theirs.
There are professional thieves working most airports and a turned head is all that is needed.
Someone could use your bags to smuggle something illegal.
Someone could place a terrorist device in your luggage.
For everyone's security, you'll be asked if you packed you own bags or if you left those bags unattended at anytime. If you left your bags unattended and then try to put them on the plane, security will certainly take the time to search your bags.
Security can, in the interest of safety, even refuse to allow your bags on the plane.

So I told a bad joke, what could happen?

Security checkpoints are strict, which is what keeps us safe. Safety is no joking matter at the airport and it is no place for bad jokes.
Any comments about bombs, terrorism, guns etc. heard by any Airline or airport personnel will be taken seriously.
Arrests have been made of those who make inappropriate jokes.
If you think it will be funny to tell the security guards to carefully search your buddy's luggage because he might have a gun, plan on that search happening, along with questions and delays for both of you.
Thought you might spice up the long lines by telling the check-in clerk that your recently dumped psychotic, demolition expert ex-girlfriend was trying to kiss up by helping you pack? Think again, you don't want that much spice in your life. Although, if you do have that ex-girlfriend, here's a valuable tip, don't let her anywhere near your luggage.
Plan on announcing that you were running late because you were having a few drinks with the pilot and he got too drunk to read his watch? Plan on running a whole lot later. Your best case scenario is being allowed to fly with the 200 hot, annoyed people that your little joke delayed for 2 hours. You'd better hope security is good at the other airport when you land.

What types of items are forbidden by security to be carried on the plane?

Some things can only be checked and some can only be shipped air cargo. Check with the Airline if you think you're bringing something questionable, you'll need to follow their guidelines.
Any electronic devices that aren't in working order will look suspicious to security. You should bring that laptop on board as a carry-on, but make sure the batteries are good. You may have to demonstrate that electronic items such as laptops and video cameras are what they look like by showing that they work. Hence the need for good batteries. Security screenings are supposed to leave computers unharmed, but you might ask for a manual inspection.
Remember that mace key chain that makes you feel so safe, sorry it's not going anywhere.
Neither is that really nice lighter with the lighter fluid reservoir.
Anything that can be used as a weapon or is an incendiary device won't be allowed on the plane.
Don't travel with wrapped packages because they will be opened, wrap them after you arrive.
Don't tell little Johnny he can carry that souvenir pioneers' musket on the plane because it is obviously a fake gun, he can't. It also has to be checked, all the way back at the check-in counter. You know the one with the long lines. If you think he'll cry too much when you take it away, imagine his face when it comes off the conveyor belt half destroyed because you didn't pack in your checked bags like you should have.